Yesterday afternoon, while running some errands by myself, I heard peculiar noises coming from the back of my seat. At first, there was a squeaky sound, something along the lines that a chipmunk or mouse might make. I kind of got scared for a moment, thinking that some sort of woodland creature was going to jump on my shoulder at any time. (picture Clark Griswold in "Christmas Vacation" -a classic)
I should mention that I love the outdoors. I like animals. However, I think that animals belong in their natural habitats - the woods or preferably the zoo. I don't mind squirrels, or rabbits, or birds being outside. That's fine. But put 1 of them in a confined area with me such as a house or in this case, a car, it freaks me out. I will scream like a little girl and run fast and far away. Not necessarily proud to say that, just being honest.
Anywho, I noticed that each time I slowed down, the odd noise occurred. I thought that my braking was somehow making the varmint mad. Weird. But then I noticed if I stopped or sped up quickly, in addition to the clicking/squeaking noise, there also projected a ringing bell sound. Very weird.
At stoplights I tried to turn around and find the source of the calamity emitted from behind my seat. No luck. I had to wait until I got home to figure it out.
Upon arriving home, I hopped out and opened the back door of my car. (yes, I drive a 4 door sedan...2 door cars are for pansies) And there it was. A creepy, diabolical thing that has been around our home for approximately 9 years. I think I've tried to dispose of it a dozen times, but somehow it keeps eluding my attempts. And now, it had made its way into my car of all places.
What it was doing under my driver's seat, I have no idea. It always seems to move from location to location, never staying in one spot for very long - kind of like Osama bin Laden. I think that's how it's managed to survive for this long. Just when we decide to exterminate it, we can't find it. And when we do find it, our youngest child at the time decides to befriend it again and thus we have no choice but to accept it.
And to make matters worse, it always wears an evil grin upon its face. The mocking, taunting smirk is ever-present. Never relenting, never changing, always aggravating, and fueling my hatred for it.
So finally, I had the opportunity to rid ourselves of this menace. I forcefully grabbed it, and brought it inside the house. As it turns out, that was a costly mistake. I should have taken a hammer to it and threw the remains into the garbage can when nobody was looking. But I didn't. My ADD kicked in and I became side tracked with something else. Such a fool am I.
Because I didn't follow through with the elimination process right away, it has managed to yet again avoid its own demise. I've lost track of it once more and really don't feel like hunting it down. So, I'll just wait for it to show itself as it inevitably always does. This is my punishment for being a procrastinator. Somewhere, it lies waiting for the opportunity to unleash its array of audible annoyances.
Laugh now, Fisher Price beast. You'll have your day. YOU'LL HAVE YOUR DAY!
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