The Tortito

Happy belated Father's Day. Hopefully dads everywhere enjoyed their special day. I know I did. Personally I think it's a way better holiday than Mother's Day.

My day consisted of hanging pool side, eating steak and ice cream, and having a great excuse to be non-productive. I wish everyday could be Father's Day. My wife would probably argue that I treat each day as if it were. Fair enough I suppose.

Altogether, it was a fairly uneventful weekend. Nobody did anything embarrassing in public, wounded themselves or their sister, committed a crime, or did something weird to the dog. Like I said, it was a fairly quiet couple days around here.

There was one interesting moment though. As with many kids her age, my 4 year-old daughter sometimes confuses words. She combines words and/or makes up her own vernacular altogether. It's extremely cute but also confusing at times. We occasionally have to translate and decipher what she's intending to tell us. I'm reminded of Will Ferrel's George W. Bush imitation when he used the word "strategery" on Saturday Night Live. The same oratory skill applies to my little girl.

So this weekend, her and I decided to swim in our pool together. We were about to get in and she said the following: "Daddy, let's get in and play with the tortito."

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"The tortito. Let's play with it. It's so much fun. I played with it yesterday and it's so much fun in the pool," she petitioned.

"A what?" I asked again, confused and a bit worried. Knowing she had a history of not only making up her own language, she also was skilled at doing some very odd things. My initial thought was, "Is she saying 'burrito' or 'tortilla'?" Either way, neither belonged anywhere close to a swimming pool. My world view believes strongly that Tex-Mex is a delicious cuisine, but not a pool toy. I guess I'm just crazy like that.

So I asked her to describe the "tortito" further, hoping for the best, expecting the worst.

She described a toy that was long, narrow, and went real fast in the water if a person threw it. "You know Dad, a tortito!" she said emphatically.

It then dawned on me. Much to my relief, she did not speak of a burrito nor a tortilla. My daughter wanted to play with the "torpedo". Thankfully, my family is not as bizarre and, well, as gross as I had feared there for a moment.

This is acceptable in our pool...



However, this is not...