First of all, I apologize to my vast minions of readers who surely are outraged that the past 2 days produced zero blog postings. Please forgive me. I have a perfectly good excuse. I didn't feel like it. Also, my wife and I went out of town for the night - which is a rare occurrence these days. For one evening, we had carefree fun enjoying another city. We had the chance to totally relax with no responsibilities for a short time. And then we came home the next day to our real world...
We returned yesterday around noon from our short trip out of town. When I walked into our home, I noticed an odd smell. I couldn't quite pinpoint where it was coming from, nor could I accurately decipher the type of odor. It was just a funky grossness. Nothing that anybody would want in their house.
I suspected the dog right away. But honestly the fumes didn't smell anything like her normal bi-products. Furthermore, I walked around our house, failing to find anything that could cause such a stench. We had ourselves a bona fide mystery.
A while later I ventured down to our basement to retrieve something. I turned the corner and saw a calamitous affair consisting of canine fecal matter. It was as if our basement had been used to stage a mud wrestling tournament while we were away.
I don't want to be crassly descriptive here, but I feel it warranted to explain the situation so that my disgust of the scene is truly understood. To add to the misery presented me, the dog found it necessary to unleash her mayhem on a couple of photography backdrops I had left laying out. Of course. Apparently the she was a bit sick because the toxic material in question was in a physical state somewhere in between solid and liquid. (I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.)
Ok, moving on...
The cleaning process began, and my wife helped with the process. I love her.
That part of the clean up was fun compared to what I had to do next. Looking at my dog, debating whether or not to kick it, (relax, I didn't) I noticed there were remnants on her tail end. She needed cleaned up back there. Fantastic.
I took her into the backyard and began hosing her down.(yes, the tail end area) At that point I began questioning why we have a dog to begin with. I had become a make-shift doggy bidet.(again, I have a little vomit in my mouth) It's an odd feeling when you find yourself in the position of such humbling circumstances. It'd be one thing if I thought she had some appreciation for my efforts but I fear that she just assumed we were both enjoying the experience. Not so much.
After a few long minutes of thorough rinsing and nausea, I completed the task at hand.
My apologies to anybody who was completely disgusted by this posting. I myself would just assume to forget the sights and smells of yesterday but it's still fresh in my mind. Misery loves company is what many people say. Thanks for sharing in some of mine.
One more thing. If you ever find yourself rinsing down your dog's dirty bum with a garden hose, be sure to do so with a closed mouth. BEWARE OF OVER SPRAY. One might think that would be self explanatory, but sometimes things are sadly learned the hard way. (one again, a little more vomit in my mouth right now)
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