Ashley's senior pics

Amy's senior pics

Standing in line with soggy shoes

On Wednesday the ladies and me traveled northward to the huge county fair in Sandusky, OH known as "Cedar Point". The rest of the Bowers clan was jazzed for the trip. As for me, not so much. I don't intend to be a Debbie Downer but it's just not my thing. I don't care to be around all those people, annoying bells and whistles, standing in lines, and most of all - roller coasters. My enjoyment came from watching the girls absolutely love the place. So, all in all, it wasn't a bad day by any means. But, like every other Bowers family outing, it had its moments...

We didn't arrive to the park until early afternoon. By most C.P. goers' standards, that's a late start. Our plan, though, was to stay there late so that the children fell asleep on the way home and then would go to bed quickly upon our return. This did work actually. The bad part about this was that we had to park at the very outer edge of the lot. I think technically our parking space was in Fremont. Sweet Moses.

My wife and I had a "conversation" about whether or not we were going to bring our cooler into the park. My argument was that we had the world's largest cooler with no wheels, and I wasn't about to carry it 27 miles to the front entrance. She didn't appear happy about it, but she eventually caved and agreed to keep it in the minivan. I'd be visiting the chiropractor for the next several weeks had she not.

When I say, "I don't care for roller coasters," that really translates: "I'd rather watch the movie 'Exorcist'...by myself...in the dark...in a cemetery...with a priest." What I'm trying to convey here is that I wouldn't do either. My wife and daughters thought it was spectacular, however. I suppose the machismo in me should feel a little ashamed that 3 little girls showed more bravery than me. Fair enough. However, the self respect in me is glad that I didn't attempt any type of spinning, twirling, zooming ride because I surely would have messed my khaki shorts. Just keeping it real, people.

Speaking of human waste, here's an interesting tidbit for you. I popped into a restroom to, well, use the restroom. As I approached the urinal I noticed that I was sloshing around in a 1/2 inch of water. "Must be a busted pipe someplace in here," I thought to myself. I finished my business and flushed. (I do not touch public toilets with my hands due to my germaphobic tendencies. Rather, I typically will kick the handle. This particular handle was much too high to kick due to my pathetic range of flexibility so I had to use my elbow.) Anyway, as I did so, the water came spilling from the bowl, carrying with it what I had just put into it. The fellow next to me had the same thing happen as well. Because I am extremely bright, I figured out almost instantly that I was standing in a 1/2 inch of waste water. Fantabulous.

My second thought that exploded in my head was, "Thank you, dear Lord, for me deciding to not wear flip flops." (I just threw up in my mouth a little bit thinking of that unfortunate scenario.) I walked out, shoes squeaking a tad, and informed my wife of the water park I just visited. Her eyes rolled and she said what I had already considered: "At least you wore tennis shoes." We do our best to be positive people and look at the glass as half full and not half empty - even when you're not totally sure what exactly is in the glass. Yikes.

Moving on...

I truly was amazed at how well the girls did. They rode most rides that they met the height requirement. I marveled at how they found enjoyment in riding those things. My wife was right there with them most of the time. The routine of the day consisted of them going on various attractions while I sat on park benches, usually right along side some other poor sap who didn't like them either. I shared seats with a few interesting people, none more so than the little boy who pretended to be a barking dog. His parents didn't seem to mind. I would have moved but it was a very nice bench in a shaded area. Quality benches like that don't come open all that often I discovered throughout the sunny warm day. I just dealt with the disturbing young lad and enjoyed the shady coolness. So wherever you are tonight, Dog Boy, it was a pleasure meeting you. ruff ruff.

Here's something I don't understand...



People intentionally standing in a spot so that they get doused with nasty stagnant water. Mmmm....sounds good. This stuff has a smell that suggests that it's probably not healthy to have it on your skin for very long, if at all. We passed scores of folks who had spent the entire day at the park, soaked to the bone with this lagoon fluid. Maybe it was my experience in the bathroom earlier in the day that really enhanced my aversion to questionable water.

One of our last stops of the day was the petting zoo. Basically this was just a fenced area with a few goats and sheep that pretty much did whatever they wanted wherever they wanted. Kids walked through small rivers of animal urine and stepped in spherical droppings of fecal matter. Good times, good times. The kids got to see a little more nature than my wife and I anticipated too. "Look Daddy, that goat is on top of the other goat!" my daughter pointed out to me at one point. "Yes, yes it is. Hey, let's go look at the pigs," was my response.

The petting zoo turned out to be a huge blessing in disguise though. I suppose it was a combination of things: the fact that I was surrounded by sweaty & wet people, the fact that I had touched multiple surfaces that probably had innumerable germs, and of course my ever-growing germaphobia that made me so excited to see this next to the zoo gate:



Our visit to Cedar Point ended with us sharing an American classic: the elephant ear. God bless the person responsible for creating those things. Man, those are good. I think the children were a little hesitant though when I told them what I was ordering. I'm sure all sorts of images popped into their tiny little heads. They must have been relieved to see a flattened donut instead of a large fleshy piece of elephant meat.

When ordering the ear, I discovered that I was a little more tired than I realized - or dumber. I had stood in the line for at least 10 minutes when the guy behind me said, "Hey man, have you ordered yet?"

I figured that he was about to ask if he could jump ahead of me for some reason or another. At this point, I just wanted to get my elephant ear, devour it with my family, and head home as quickly as possible. I was in no mood to chit chat or to do anybody a favor. Least of all, one that would delay me leaving Cedar Point any sooner. So, I coldly and rather simply replied, "No."

Turning my back to the man, I stood there hoping he wasn't going to keep talking to me. But of course, he did.

"I didn't think so," he stated. "I just wanted to let you know that this is the 'pick up' line. Over there is the 'ordering' line."

It's time to go home, Jason. Idiot.

We eventually scarfed down the elephant ear that I waited in line twice for and exited the park. The kids were appreciative of our efforts and all of them chorused, "Thank you, mom and dad," as we embarked on our tenuous journey through the massive parking lot. Personally, I was very appreciative of the fact that I wasn't carrying an enormous cooler. I did have to tote a sticky-handed 4 year-old on my shoulders though.

All in all, it was a good day. A long, long, long day, but a good day nonetheless.

The next morning began with my wife putting my shoes in the washing machine for a much needed cleaning.

"Kids on the Farm" Portrait Event

Jason Bowers Photography and Buckeye Blooms invite you to take part in this unique opportunity.

Don't miss this chance to have your child or grandchild professionally photographed on a picturesque family farm: in a field of flowers, against a backdrop of golden prairie grasses or down a shady lane lined with towering trees.

When: August 19, 20 & 21
9:00am-noon and 5:00pm-8:00pm all 3 days
Photo sessions will be scheduled for every 45 minutes

Where: The Studer Farm: home of Buckeye Blooms, producer of farm fresh, chemical-free flowers located at 6301 Watkins Road, Elida

Cost: No sitting fee ($50.00 value)
Purchase only the amount of prints you want

Space is limited so call now to reserve your time slot.

Jason Bowers Photography: 419.222.7584

Pictured left: Buckeye Blooms owners Kay & Susan Studer

5 Dogs

Our family is really into day trips. We randomly pick a destination within a couple hours of our home, pack up the children and a few snacks and just let the day play itself out. It's fun and usually results in creating some good family memories. Yesterday we decided to head to Columbus for the day.

We loaded up a cooler full of food, and ended up having a picnic in a park we like to visit in German Village. With a blanket sprawled out, and a nice spread of food, we enjoyed a meal underneath a large oak tree. We were entertained by a middle-aged skateboarder and a peculiar squirrel. The skateboarder repeatedly rolled by our location, apparently in no hurry to actually go anywhere. He continually attempted a lame trick that although didn't look impressive at all, would surely result in me breaking a bone or excessive bleeding if I tried it. Even our kids were a bit puzzled by his behavior.

"What is he doing?" our oldest daughter asked.

"Not sure," I replied. "I think he's trying to impress you guys." Their eyes rolled back into their heads.

"Well, we're not impressed," they informed me.

I love my girls. I hope they keep that same mentality about guys for many years to come.

As the skater continued his "radness", a curious squirrel sat and watched us eat. That in itself wasn't strange, but the small woodland creature repeatedly made a weird noise. We all agreed that this was not a normal squirrel due to its unique sound. Urban park squirrels must be a bit more rough than country squirrels. This thing was not at all intimidated by people and came very close to us emitting his high pitched chirp. I didn't mind the noise as much as I did the smoke from its cigarette. That's just rude.

After eating, we strolled around the park, and the kids fed bread crumbs to the ducks. My wife and I both observed that parks really do attract people from all walks of life. There were young professionals, old retirees, and people fishing (quite possibly for their dinner). I often noticed my kids staring. To be honest, I too was mesmerized by a couple of the park patrons. None more so than the guy carrying around 2 turtles he had evidently caught. Everybody needs a hobby I guess.

My wife and I decided to take the kids to a Columbus Clippers baseball game. This is the first year for the new Huntington Park and it's absolutely beautiful. It's very kid friendly and I strongly recommend it to any family. The kids thoroughly enjoyed the experience, although they could really care less about the game taking place on the field.

By the time we got there, all of the seats had been sold out. The only remaining tickets were "standing room only." So we basically were told that we'd just have to roam around and find an open space to view the game. As it turned out, it worked out perfectly because we paid a minimal amount for admission and then eventually found good seats close to the field.

What contributed to the large attendance last night was that it was "Dime a Dog Night". Yup, hot dogs cost only 10 cents. This apparently brought a lot of people out to the ballpark. Our kids all thought this was wonderful. We managed to get a few dogs prior to the large line that continued throughout the game. We found a bench to sit on while the kids stuffed their faces. I looked over to notice a videographer from a local tv station readying his camera. He evidently was looking for some footage for the newscast later that evening. He gazed over the crowd and inevitably set his sights on our family.

"Don't look now," I said to my wife, "but I think we're about to be videotaped."

Sure enough, the guy started rolling tape on us. As soon as he began, it was like carnival music starting playing and lights spotlighted our traveling circus. First of all, our youngest daughter attempted to shove her half-eaten hot dog up my wife's nose. Not sure why, but she apparently felt this was a good idea. I'm convinced it looked great through the man's camera lens though. Then, my other daughter spilled a full bottle of water over and it soaked part of my pants. This all happened in the matter of 5 seconds.

The newsman finally put down his camera and revealed a large grin on his face. He looked at us as if to say, "This footage is golden. Thank you. Freaks."

In addition to him, we also put on a show for the guy across the way from us. My wife didn't see him, but I looked up to his laughing noticeably at our non-scripted comedic routine.

"Thank you, Columbus! We'll be back again, please tip your waitress," is what I felt like yelling.

We eventually cleaned ourselves up and roamed around the park once more. Due to the large crowd, there really weren't too many areas open that the kids could see the field. I finally just told the other 4 to follow me and I randomly ventured down to some empty seats close to the field. I waited for the usher to be distracted with some actual ticket holders and seized on the opportunity.

My wife is very much a "by the book" sort of person and this was as close to breaking the law that's she's come to in a long time. We took our seats, and my lovely life partner sat nervously for the next 2 innings, obviously hating the fact that we were wanted criminals. The rightful owners never claimed the seats so we enjoyed the rest of the game from that location. Genius.

The game was good, but the real entertainment took place in front of my wife. She kept mouthing something to me, but I couldn't quite make it out. As I soon figured out, she had been saying, "She's had 4 hot dogs." I then noticed a rather burly, muscular lady sitting directly in front of my wife. I don't want to sound judgmental or mean spirited, but I'll just say that undoubtedly this woman could put me in a head lock quite quickly if she so desired.

4 hotdogs? That's kind of gross. But not nearly as gross as when she sucked down her 5th hot dog soon afterward. Come on, I understand 10 cents is an extremely good price for a hot dog, but is the cost alone what keeps people from scarfing down large quantities of them? It's still a hot dog. Have some self control, lady.

I of course would never say that directly to that woman. Not so much because I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings, but rather for my fear of the impending head lock that'd follow.

Our Vacation Part V

Today's the final installment of our vacation recap. On this particular venture, we headed to a horse farm located only a few miles from our house. Our kids love anything that has to do with nature and animals so we figured this destination would suit them well. And it did, but not without excitement however.

We no sooner stepped out of our car when we felt a thunderous vibration emitting up from the ground. The trembling earth was accompanied by a loud repetitive thumping sound heading toward us. We looked up to see 4 riderless horses in a full sprint, galloping outside of the secure fenced area. Although we were still 30 yards away from them, it was very intimidating. I wasn't scared at all and stood my ground in a manly fashion. ( Only because I couldn't get my keys out of my pocket fast enough to jump back inside the minivan)

Something seemed out of the ordinary. For a place visited by families with small children, this was not a safe situation. Our questions were answered when we soon saw 4 people walking from the direction from which the horses came. Apparently something had spooked the animals, causing them to take off. Although a bit unnerving, it was an incredible experience to see those large animals moving like that.



Also on the ranch were a few of these things. Sort of an unusual, dopey looking animal. It actually reminded me of our dog which is a Golden Doodle (Golden Retriever and Standard Poodle mix). Being the clever chap that I am, I coined the term "Cow Doodle". Nobody thought it was funny then when I said it either.



A young woman ran the ranch and I couldn't help but say in a loud enough voice that she could hear, "Hey kids, check out these stupid looking horses." She pretended to not hear me. I think after nearly being ran over by a horse, it sort of made me say weirder things than usual.

The Cow Doodle is much more intimidating from this angle. By the look he was giving me, I think he would have thoroughly loved stepping on my face. Or better yet, sticking one of his horns up a place that a Cow Doodle's horn doesn't belong. Yikes.



We loved watching the kids just sort of roaming around the property, appreciating the large creatures that stood on the other side of the electric fence. Thankfully the only way we knew that the fence wire was live was that a rancher informed us and not due to me seizuring on the ground, eyes rolled back into my head, and urine soaked pants mumbling "it's.....turned.....on."



Our vacation was a huge success again this year. We managed to all get along quite well, and everybody thoroughly enjoyed themselves. The kids played well with each other and behaved wonderfully in the van ride to and from Michigan. The only incident involving any type of argument occurred the night before we left for home.

We heard arguing going on between all three girls in the back of the minivan. Short on patience involving children bickering about something silly, we put the kibosh on that right away.

"There will be no fighting. Understand? That goes for the remainder of tonight and as well as tomorrow when we leave for home," my wife informed them. "Now what's going on?"

"Nobody wants to sit in the back seat," the oldest one told us.

"Why? That used to be the 'cool seat' to have. What's changed?" my wife inquired.

"The back seat smells like hot dogs," was the response.

As I write that last sentence, I still get the same nauseating feeling that I had at that exact moment. Hot dogs? Our van smells like hot dogs? That's so gross I'm a little embarrassed to even share that.

In denial, and still just hoping that they were making that up, I crawled to the back of the van.

Yep, hot dogs.

It's amazing/embarrassing/discouraging what happens in a minivan with 3 young children over the course of a 10 day vacation. My wife elected me to search for the cause of the odorous stench and the children hopped out of the vehicle. I found several cookies, a partly eaten peanut butter sandwich, many m&m's, a sucker, and some gooey substance that I just convinced myself was a melted candy bar. But no processed meat product was found.

And then I noticed the smell was gone. This could only mean one thing.

It had to be one of the children.

That's something that no parent wants for their offspring.

We checked the girls over and I am proud to report that the mystery smell was not them. We never did quite figure out the source, but it failed to return anyway. Thank you, Jesus.

And so with that we close the book on another great vacation. It's hard to believe it had been a year already since our last one. Crazy. Time certainly does fly by. Although there's often a bit of a sadness at the conclusion of a fun getaway, it's always good to be back home. Especially when I get to live with 4 beautiful ladies, none of whom smell like a hot dog.

Have a great weekend.

Our Vacation Part IV

Being surrounded by nature inspires a person to be outside as much as possible. So one day we found some hiking trails and marched off into the woods by our house. The kids love this sort of thing. They picked up walking sticks and saw this as a huge adventure. Once again, my wife and I saw this as an excellent opportunity to tire out their little bodies.



Along the way, we stopped and nailed a note to a tree. My mother-in-law had the idea to seal up a letter addressed to other passersby. The paper requested that they sign and date the note. Then, next year when we return we'd see who all participated in our little experiment. With our fortune, we'll probably get fined for littering though.



The Chuck Taylors got a work out, and on the return hike back to our house, our 4 year decided that she was too tired to walk so I had to carry her on my shoulders. Funny thing, I didn't realize just how far we had walked until we turned around to go back to the house. My legs started to strain a bit and my shoulders started to burn. That's when she piped up and commented that, "Going on hikes is hard work," and that she was "getting so thirsty from having gone on such a long hiking trip" and of course, "my bottom is hurting from sitting on your shoulders." Oh really? Sorry for the inconvenience that my shoulders are causing you. You have my full sympathy. I'll try to pick up the pace so as to not create any more hardship. Give me a break, man.

I love pointing out certain things to the kids while traipsing through the forest. I try to not only put out the vibe that I'm well-trained in the skills of a survivalist, but I also like to mess with their little heads a bit. They're young and impressionable so it's just a lot of fun. For example, "Those trees over there are Northern Maples and are indigenous to this part of the country,"(they just assume I know what I'm talking about since I used the word "indigenous") or "Those green plants there are poisonous," or "I think I heard a bear," or "Be sure to watch out for quick sand," or "There have been reports of Sasquatch in these parts," or "Oh my word, we're lost! We're lost!". Good times, good times.



As I mentioned earlier in the week, the weather was a bit on the chilly side as well as a little rainy. So, on a couple days we had some extended time inside the house. My 9 year-old daughter seized the opportunity to teach me how to play the game of chess. I've always sort of wanted to learn but never have. I quickly realized that as I get older, the less capable I am of retaining new information like this.

She sees the board quite simplistically it seems. Sort of like this...


However, in my head things are organized more like this...



In a weird fluke, I somehow managed to actually beat her the first game we played. I suspect that she let me because ever since then she absolutely destroys me. Typically, I'm left sitting at the table trying to figure out how she could win so quickly. "That's okay, Daddy," she says with a smug grin, "you tried."

Chess is a great thinking person's game. I love the strategy and gamesmanship involved. I'm glad I finally took time to start learning it. I didn't feel so bad about my late arrival to the chess playing community until I read this on the box...



Age 5? Are you kidding me? I didn't even start playing checkers until I was about 10 years old. I guess I'm a bit "slow".

The last game we played together was extremely close - and long. We actually had to stop play and resume the game later that evening due to the longevity of it. In a disheartening ending, she inevitably captured my king. I'm not a good loser. So I immediately challenged her to another competition. Arm wrestling.

Fortunately for me we agreed to a "best 2 out of 3" match.

As it turns out, she's abnormally strong for a 4th grade girl.